Photo: Tanja Mikolcic

November 10 - 17, 2024

A 7-night retreat for those facing painful estrangement from an adult child.

In November 2024, I’ll be hosting a retreat at my home - Casa Paloma - on the shores of Lake Atitlan, Guatemala to explore tools for surviving the grief of estrangement from adult children. This is an experience I address in my novel, Count the Ways, and one that afflicts more and more women who join me in the memoir groups I lead. As I do with writers who’ve attended my Write by the Lake workshops for over twenty years, we’ll be looking at telling our stories as a valuable means of coming to terms with our experience and making sense of grief and loss. But there’s more….

A native of Indiana, LeeAnn (Ili) Heinbaugh has made her home in the Maya town of Santiago for over thirty years, studying the ancient traditions and wisdom of local shamans and the Tzu’tujil language and sharing them with others both in Guatemala and abroad.

Ili is an ordained minister, counselor, leadership coach and storyteller with degrees in Spanish and Latin American Studies and a Masters in Counseling Psychology. She brings to the table decades of study and experience with Mayan elders, shamans, storytellers and leading spiritual guides, melding sacred ways with her diverse professional experience to provide practical tools for living. She is certified in Myers Briggs and Integrative Medicine among other disciplines, Ili brings a unique gift of healing integrating, for those who come from a western cultural background, an understanding of the Maya perspective . Ili works extensively with a healer in Santiago who has met with and inspired Joyce’s groups on numbers of past retreats.

We recognize that the experience of estrangement is isolating. Many estranged parents live with a sense of profound shame. At Lake Atitlan, you’ll be part of a community of others who understand. This is a time to set aside self-punishment and remind yourself that you are not alone.

THE BASICS:

Our theme will be estrangement and loss, but a central goal for our time together will be ensuring that all who join us find sustenance and healing from a wide range of adventures and new experiences.

You’ll fly into Guatemala City—a direct flight from New York City and Los Angeles, among other US cities. The trip is easier and quicker than you might think. From there, we’ll have a private car waiting for each guest to bring you to a beautiful four-star hotel in the historic nearby town of Antigua for sunset drinks and a welcome dinner with me.

Next day, after a morning to explore Antigua, the group will make the trip to my home, Casa Paloma, on the shores of Lake Atitlan, where you’ll spend the next five nights in the beautiful lake-and-volcano-view room or bungalow of your choice.

Our staff - mostly from the local indigenous community - will see to it that you are taken care of every moment of your stay.

Known not only for its spectacular beauty, Lake Atitlan is also rich in traditional Mayan culture and famous as a center for healing—some of which you’re sure to experience. You’ll share delicious, healthy meals prepared by our beloved trained chef, Rosa, and served on our terrace overlooking the lake and under the stars. I’m guessing some tears will be shed over the course of our time together. But we promise laughter and great conversation too—and the gift of community.

Recognizing that those experiencing estrangement also deserve a respite from grief and loss, in addition to discussions and workshops around estrangement, we’ll be offering extraordinary excursions: hike to a waterfall, watch the sun rise over an active volcano, visit a women’s weaving collective, the local roastery, an apiary, and plenty of artisan markets featuring crafts from local artisans.

STROLL THE STREETS OF SAN JUAN LA LAGUNA.

PARTICIPATE IN A TRADITIONAL HEALING CEREMONY LED BY A MAYAN SHAMAN.

ALSO INCLUDED IN THE EXPERIENCE: DAILY YOGA ON OUR LAKEVIEW PLATFORM, MORNING SAUNAS, KAYAKING, STAND-UP PADDLEBOARD, COMPLIMENTARY MASSAGE FOR EVERY GUEST AND SUNSET DRINKS ACCOMPANIED BY THE BEST GUACAMOLE AND MARGARITAS EVER.

Wake to the birds. Go to sleep to the sound of the water. Locate new ways of dealing with grief and loss. For those who have lost their sense of joy: let us help you rediscover it. Work with me on your writing, and with Ili about constructive tools for moving forward.

A FEW MORE DETAILS:

With over twenty years’ experience bringing American travellers to Guatemala, we can promise you’ll be in good hands. Before you travel, you’ll receive a detailed letter covering everything you need to know, from packing and changing money to weather (generally around 70-75 degrees in the daytime, cooler at night, never humid), and much more. Because we’re at a high altitude, bugs aren’t a big issue at Lake Atitlan. We ask that every guest be COVID vaccinated and boosted.

COST:

Private room (single) - $4295 - $5295

Private room (couple) - $5995 - $6795

Shared room (double) - $3995 - $4095

Prices are ALL-INCLUSIVE (except for airfare and tips for our staff). Alcoholic beverages provided on our first and last nights. (Other nights during your stay, available at a small additional charge.)

Total number of participants (depending on how many share rooms): 16 max.

Those with shared rooms at Casa Paloma will also share rooms in Antigua.

* Cancellation Policy: Full refund (minus $500 administration fee) if cancellation is 10 weeks prior to the retreat date. Payments are NON-REFUNDABLE after that date.

Rooms are likely to fill quickly. If you would like to move forward with next steps, please review the FAQS and continue to the form below.

Healing by the Lake January 2024 Participant Testimonials:

“There are no words to describe what a gift Healing by the Lake has been to me. I signed up hoping the retreat would help me think through possible paths forward with my adult child—and it did. But the real gift, for me, was the emotional release and healing I experienced at Casa Paloma.” 

“In community with loving parents like me, in one of the most beautiful countries in the world, I learned to my surprise that my situation wasn’t at all uncommon. As participants bravely shared their stories, every other person in the group sat with them in compassion and understanding, validating their pain and their clear love for their child—that gift of presence somehow lifting much of the heavy weight I'd been carrying on my shoulders.”

“I came away feeling less isolated, profoundly aware and grateful for all the good that I have in my life, reminded of who I am at my core, and newly empowered and energized to love myself and to live richly and fully—no matter what the future holds. My heart is so much lighter now than it was before Healing by the Lake. I’m so grateful to Joyce, who is an extraordinary and wonderfully gracious host, and to all of the facilitators and teachers and spiritual guides who led the retreat, for what may well have been the most important and transformative week of my life.” - S. Oregon

“In my five year struggle with estrangement, I literally became sick. Since then, I managed to learn a bit and to arrive at some acceptance, but nothing has helped as profoundly as Healing by the Lake. Thanks to our host Joyce and her vision, we were nurtured with delicious food and kindness in an idyllic setting. With help from psychologists to shamans, hiking to massage, roses, saunas, meditations, music, MARGARITAS and more - our wounds were tended. We gained insight and coping tools- we formed new loving bonds. We found laughter and delight. Most of all, we learned we are not alone, and despite our pain, we can live fully and joyfully.” - L. California

“From the time you've gone through customs (at the airport) entering Guatemala to the time you arrive back at the airport for your departure home, you will be lovingly cared for!  In fact, you will most likely be very sad to be back at the airport because that means you're saying goodbye not only to lovely and magical Lake Atitlan and Casa Paloma but to all the wonderful new friends you've made. Sharing stories about our background experiences, and baring all for our comrades felt so healing and cathartic! There is no shaming and no judging, just love and acceptance from your new friends. It's hard to put into words - Joyce is the mistress of using words!! - exactly what the experience meant to me, and I know that every single one of us felt precisely the same! I believe that all of us felt that this was truly a 'once in a lifetime' experience, and we are already thinking about a reunion!”  -C. Georgia

“Did I ever think I would be writing about a retreat that I went to because of the pain I have experienced due to the estrangement from my daughter… never, ever.  We gathered the first day on the yoga deck with completely broken hearts splitting wide open.  We shared, we cried, we hugged, we bonded, and we saw the pain in others that we thought only we had experienced. I came home with hope and strength that I gained from all of these wonderful people at the retreat.  Thank you Joyce for knowing that connection with others experiencing this incredible pain is one of the most important things that can bring us healing and hope.” - M. Oregon

“The experience of being in the presence of other parents who understood this unique pain was profound in a way that I cannot really describe.  I did not have a single friend back home who had any framework of reference for understanding the searing pain of estrangement, not that I would ever want them to!  Being in a group of other parents who collectively knew this pain made me feel seen, heard, and less alone.  We comforted each other, and will continue to do so, in a way that nobody else could.”- E. Texas

“My experience at Lake Atitlan, Healing by the Lake, went well beyond my expectations. Joyce Maynard creates a warm, trusting, and confidential environment for us to share our stories and realize that we are not alone. Her beautiful home, Casa Paloma, is surrounded by healing nature and supported by therapists, rituals, and amazing food. I felt incredibly cared for and nourished emotionally, physically and psychologically. Our bond and sense of community, through the work we did together, will be a lasting legacy. I would highly recommend this retreat for estranged parents of adult children.” - M. California

“I just spent a week in Guatemala talking to parents who have shared my experience about the difficult-to-describe subject of estrangement from one of my children. After five years of missing my son, screaming and yelling in my closet in absentia from him, sending him unanswered letters I finally laid the relationship to rest and found some peace in the company of other grieving parents who have shared my experience. I came to the retreat solo, with some fear and trepidation and left Guatemala with a community of helpful, empathetic friends, (no longer the strangers from the first day) who I have come to know and will be leaning on (when needed) in the future. The whole week in Guatemala was magical: hikes at sunrise, singing, shared meals, early morning saunas and swims, suggestions for writing prompts that rang true, visiting Mayan villages with helpful guides and two shaman cleansing ceremonies that helped me communicate with my son in a dream, afterward. A lot of healing took place; I love the other parents I met and I no longer feel alone in my grief. The setting of Guatemala with its kind, wise people and beautiful lake landscapes was instrumental.” - M. New Mexico

“I cannot say enough about what a wonderful, healing experience this retreat was for me. I thought it was very expensive when I was contemplating going, but before it was even over, I knew it was definitely worth every single penny. Joyce is a wonderful, kind, and generous host. I left there with a new, supportive group of friends who understand and share the pain of estrangement. I know I can call upon any one of these wonderful  people if I need support at any time. I will make my phone number available to anyone who is thinking of going and would like to talk to me. Guatemala is a wonderful country, it is a beautiful setting and the food is delicious and healthy. If you are a little adventurous, suffering from estrangement and ready to move forward in your healing journey, I would highly recommend you consider this retreat.” - A. California